Its time

Yes, finally am ready to admit and accept the ending. The end that occured long back, and was denied. Annoying. I detest accepting reality, or maybe understanding my illusion. Its funny. I dont understand myself. I am stuck between hating myself and denying my existence. I wonder if i am a horrible person. No this isnt an attempt at self pity, i have had enough of that. Change is what i require. I need. I want to change. My reality is waiting for me. My illusion is my friend. I wonder if there is a choice, i wonder if i need to choose. Familiarity is a stranger. I dont know myself anymore. I wait for them to hold me, comfort me. But they may not come. I hope. Its nice to fall back on something/someone. Please break my fall.