Stuck!

Asking, requesting, pleading, begging. Am done. Am not going to sit and sulk. Let things happen. Maybe they were meant to be this way. Who am i to complain anyway? Wish it didnt matter so much. Indirect communication. Angry words, unexpressed emotions, lonely emotions. Oh its all a game, play it and win, or lose. Doesnt matter.You are alone anyway. Dont be unfair. Dont kill yourself over this. But aint i already dead? Am confused. This space feels strange. Is it a void? Why cant i hear anyone? Why cant i speak? I cant feel anything. My heart doesnt beat. Its cold and dead. There i can see it, blood splattered, warm blood, lying on the floor. I stare. Try picking it up. Change my mind and walk away. Lets give it what it deserves. I decide. Again.